I am a 36-year-old mother of two beautiful girls, but I will always be the little girl whose mommy died 11 days after my 4th birthday. I am parenting while grieving.
My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer while she was pregnant with me. She had a mastectomy and underwent chemotherapy and other treatments. She fought to live for my older sister and me, but 4 years after her diagnosis, on August 16, 1979, she became my guardian angel. And on that day, I became a member of a club that no one wants to be a member of – a child who has lost a parent.
My father was amazing and never shied away from talking about my mom. He was the most wonderful father and attempted to fill the void of a mother as best he could, including taking us prom dress shopping. I also had many supportive friends and family surrounding me as I grew up. However, even with all of this support, there were many times throughout my life when I felt alone because, aside from my sister, I knew no one else my age who had lost a parent. This was particularly evident during middle school and high school. I also remember struggling with having to explain “why” I did not “have a mom” and then being faced with the uneasiness of others at the topic of death.
When I first heard about Kate’s Club, my initial thought was how much I would have benefited from an organization like this when I was a child. And how wonderful it is that the kids of Kate’s Club have a place where the word death is not taboo and they are surrounded by peers who truly understand their journey of grief. As I’ve experienced in my life, grief is a journey with ups, downs, and surprises, but with support and validation, the journey is made easier.
– By Cindy Schoell, Kate’s Club Board Member
Would you like to share your story? Please get in touch with Kate's Club! KC has free grief support with grief resources, grief counseling resources, grief training, and volunteer work in Atlanta and surrounding places in Georgia. Kate's Club is a growing nonprofit in Atlanta with grief specialists for kids and young adults going through bereavement. Our goal is to make a world where it is okay to grieve.