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How children and adults experience grief similarly and differently

Date
January 19, 2012
Author
Kate's Club
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How children and adults experience grief similarly and differently
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A picture of a mom asking her daughter a question
A mom asking her daughter a question

One of the issues in moving through your grief journey is understanding the difference in how children and adults grieve.

Grieving while parenting gives adults a greater understanding and clear distinction between life and death. This may become challenging as they work to explain to their children what the “new normal” for the family unit is.

How can surviving parents help their children along his or her grief journey?

According to an article in the BBC, Dr. Ann Dent explains how toddlers, children, and adolescents view death. It outlines some of the symptoms to look out for. In her piece, Dr. Dent states that how children cope with loss will depend to some extent on their personalities, but mostly on how their parents or caregivers have guided them.

Dr. Dent explains that a child younger than five may view death as a dream or a journey and that death and life are interchangeable. Children in elementary or primary school may experience similar feelings to adults, such as shock, confusion, anger, and guilt. Children of this age may not show their feelings openly, leading parents and others to believe that they aren’t affected by the death.

Dr. Dent goes on to explain that grief reactions made by teens are similar to those of adults but negative feelings may lead to violence and aggression. She says that mood swings and periods of depression are common but it may be difficult to separate them from normal or traditional adolescent behavior. Tension and fighting within the family may become more common.

Changes in behavior range as wide as the various ages of a surviving child and include, but are not limited to, becoming withdrawn, bed-wetting, lack of concentration, clinging, bullying, telling lies, headaches, sleep difficulties, and changing eating habits.

If you are grieving, or know someone who is, what signs do you see? How do you handle them? How have you moved through your grief journey?

Would you like to share your story? Please get in touch with Kate's Club! KC has free grief support with grief resources, grief counseling resources, grief training, and volunteer work in Atlanta and surrounding places in Georgia. Kate's Club is a growing nonprofit in Atlanta with grief specialists for kids and young adults going through bereavement. Our goal is to make a world where it is okay to grieve.

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